I really need to swap out the party hat for the work hat and get something done today, but first, I have to tell you about what just happened.
A colleague sent me the link to a piece in the Washington Post about a new memoir called “Bad Mother,” by a woman named Ayelet Waldman. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/04/AR2009050403451.html)
I figured my friend sent it because for a while, a few years ago, I wrote a column called “Bad Mom” for the now sadly hibernating site www.austinmama.com.
(Here’s a link to my first “Bad Mom” column: http://austinmama.com/badmomone.htm)
That wasn’t the only reason.
Worlds aren’t exactly colliding, but definitely nudging each other.
Not that I would dare to compare myself to Waldman, a well-known writer and Harvard-educated lawyer married to a famous novelist, Michael Chabon.
But we both write about being bad moms.
Turns out, we have something else in common, too. At the end of the Washington Post piece, it’s revealed (as it is in the book) that Waldman — who has four other children — made the decision to abort a baby diagnosed with Down syndrome.
Ha! I thought to myself. Figures. Not only is Ayelet Waldman a better writer with better connections, a better education and a better name, she even wins on that one. She really is a bad mother.
I don’t like admitting that I thought that, but I did. For a moment.
Then I forced myself to consider how tough that admission must have been for Waldman (let alone the choice to abort) and how my own choice to keep Sophie was really made more out of ignorance and avoidance — and my husband’s wisdom — than anything else.
I think Waldman’s brave for writing her book.
Is Ayelet Waldman really a Bad Mother? Am I such a Bad Mom?
If we really were, would we admit it?